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Bystander Intervention
Why bystander intervention?
Over and over I've read stories from women who have been harassed with people around them, but no one stopped or asked if they were okay. The women felt shocked or betrayed that no one stopped to help and that the harasser was able to get away with such threatening behavior in the midst of people.
While many harassers only harass women when they are alone or they harass women in such a way that no one else realizes what is happening, there are many times when they do blatantly harass women in front of others. Having a bystander say or do something could make a big difference in ending the harassment scenario, helping the woman not feel alone, and making it clear that the harassing behavior is socially unacceptable.
(Here is a story on the Stop Street Harassment Blog where a male bystander made more of a difference in helping a woman than the police did!)
There are many barriers that keep people, especially men, from preventing and intervening in street harassment and other incidents as often as they could. For example, if there are several other people around, the “bystander effect” may mean that each person expects the other to respond or that if no one responds, there is no need to or it must be inappropriate to do so. Other reasons for doing nothing may be because the a person is unsure if the behavior is unwelcome, doesn't want to assume the person can't take care of themselves, doesn't know what to do, and/or fears the perpetrator will turn on them.
While these are legitimate concerns, since intervention often can make a difference, the benefits may out weigh the negatives. If you are interested in learning about bystander intervention, consider attending workshops by groups like Men Can Stop Rape and Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP), which both include bystander intervention in their programming. The programming helps participants think about the role and responsibility of a bystander and stimulates dialogue and critical thinking about the choices bystanders face and the costs and benefits of action and inaction. They also include role playing and brainstorming sessions about the best ways to respond.
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Intervention tips
For quick tips on intervention, Brian Martin, professor of social sciences at the University of Wollongong, Australia, offers several, aimed at men:
Suppose you are with men who are harassing women (or anyone else):
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Refuse to join in. Do not make any comments yourself.
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Discourage others from doing so. Tell them the person is not enjoying it or tell them to leave the person alone.
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At a suitable time, raise the issue about public harassment with your friends and explain why it is inappropriate to treat people that way.
Suppose you see a man/men harassing women (or anyone else):
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If it looks like a man is bothering a woman, ask her, “Is someone bothering you?” That question alone may deter a harasser who believes no one will intervene. If she says yes and the harasser does not leave or persists harassing, tell the harasser to stop or call for assistance (from police, a transit authority worker, or other people nearby).
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If a woman in a crowd says she has just been harassed or had someone touch her inappropriately, call out a supportive comment such as, “Whoever did that, it is not welcome,” or “We do not tolerate that behavior.”
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If you see a woman who has been verbally or physically abused, you can ask her if there is anything you can do to help. If she says no, leave, because you do not want to be another person intruding on her space. If she says yes, try to help her as best you can.
In December 2009, I informally surveyed 85 men about bystander intervention and their ideas for educating men about street harassment, and 82 percent said of them said they would be willing to intervene when they see someone harassing a woman, 17 percent said they had intervened once, and 46 said they had intervened more than once. Here are tips they offered. While the tips are aimed at men, women can use them too, and while they were written for a male to female street harassment scenario, they can be applied to many other types of harassment incidents.
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I've found that distractions and indirect interventions help best. Asking for directions, asking for the time, or other innocuous questions can often be enough of a distraction for a harasser to go away and move on, without causing a big scene or putting anyone in physical danger.
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I do not address the man/group harassing the female. I simply offer my presence.
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You don't have to be loud and physically confrontational. You can simply distract harasser by saying “waddup” or you can just stay in open view so it won't escalate to a rape scenario.
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Where possible, intervene by giving control to the target of the harassment (e.g. “is he bothering you?” or “are you okay?”).
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Just do the right thing. I think there are times when a harasser may be intimidating even to other males, but you have to find the intestinal fortitude to stand up for women in these situations. Otherwise, it’s as if we are giving the harassers tacit approval to continue their behaviors.
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Go in fast and loud and willing to do just about anything.
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Be aware of the situation, know what your advantage is, and if confronting a group situation, make sure you are interacting with the leader, and have contacted the police.
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Don’t turn a blind eye, confront them even if it's awkward, even if it's not socially acceptable, do it anyways…Remember that many women are not in the situation where they are safe speaking up for themselves.
Here are three examples of their success stories:
“A young woman was on a metro train and a couple of teenagers started to tell her in explicit and profane language what they wanted to do to her. I told them they needed to leave her alone ...They did and moved on. I was happy to see that a couple of other men surrounding us on the train told me that they had my back should things have gone violent.”
“A woman was being leered at out of a car as she crossed the street (in front of the car). I was walking just behind her...My intervention was rather quiet - I interposed by body between her and the car, falling somewhat behind her as we neared the other side, in order to stay between her and the men.”
“On public trains if I see a man staring down a woman and she seems scared I have locked eyes with him and started a conversation with a woman so she won't seem alone. My intervening has more so been making my presence as a third party known.”
My forthcoming book Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women (August 2010) includes further information bystgander intervention, including more success stories.
Further reading:
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